


You’re All That I Need

by baggytithys



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Christmas, How Do I Tag, I cried while writing this, M/M, No Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:55:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28678482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baggytithys/pseuds/baggytithys
Summary: /song reference- underneath the tree by carrie underwood\!!WARNING!! MAJOR CHARACTER!!"i love you, hajime.""i love you, toru."ORHajime and Toru are happily married. Everything in their life is going perfect. Until it isn't.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 4





	You’re All That I Need

**Author's Note:**

> there is MCD in this, so please be cautious while reading. anyways, this is my first time uploading to ao3. i also posted this on my wattpad, which is @baggytithys
> 
> anywho, thank you for reading!! i appreciate it a lot. there might be some typing errors in between this because i didn’t reread LMAOSUOA. but yeah, thank you again!!!

You’re here where you should be  
Snow is falling as the carolers sing  
It just wasn’t the same  
Alone on christmas day  
Presents, what a beautiful sight  
Don’t mean a thing if you ain't holding me tight  
You’re all that I need  
Underneath the tree

[tonight i’m gonna hold you close   
Make sure that you know,   
I was lost before you  
Christmas was cold and grey  
Another holiday alone to celebrate]  
-12 months prior-  
Lights were glimmering and glowing, a variety of colors shimmering in the dark, mysterious sky. Greens, reds, browns, and whites wildly placed around the house. The smell of hot chocolate and cinnamon sifting through the crisp, warm air. Songs of great melody dancing into eardrums, chiming, ringing, jingling. Spirits were lifted and smiles were graced upon two specific individuals.   
12:00 pm   
It was officially Christmas in the Iwaizumi household. Hajime could hear the squeals of his husband, heavy steps coming around the corner. Pale fingers wrapped around his own, contracting greatly compared to his tanner skin. He breathed out a smile, turning around to face the person he could never get tired of.   
“Merry Christmas iwa-chan!”  
The cheery brunette exclaimed, his voice ringed in his ear. Hajime chuckled, resting a hand on his tinted cheeks, running a rough hand through the smooth strands of hair.   
“Merry Christmas, kawa,”  
He said softly, turning around swiftly to grab a warm cookie from his new batch. “Wanna try? They’re double chocolate chip this time.” the raven offered, clicking his tongue and pulling the cookie back when Oikawa eagerly nodded and reached for it.   
“Ah, you know the kitchen rules.” Hajime raised an eyebrow, grinning when Tooru leaned down slightly and placed a light peck on his lips.   
The paler of the two pulled back, giving the ladder an expecting look. Hajime gave him the cookie, smiling dopily as he watched his husband eat the cookie, little bits of warm chocolate leaving a trail on his mouth. His tongue swiped to get it after he gulped down the pastry.  
Slow, low humming tunes made their way through the house. Sparkling eyes meeting Hajime’s own. A hand gripped his wrist, tugging on it slightly.   
“Oh! Let’s go dance! I love this song.”  
The raven followed the other hesitantly. After all these years he was still utterly whipped for the brunette..   
Oikawa laced his hand with one of Iwa’s, his other ghosting over his shoulder. Hajime gripped his husband’s waist, allowing the smooth, fluid motions to grace the two. It was as if they were moving in slow motion. The sight of Tooru standing there, his pale skin glowing under the lights. His chocolate, soft eyes leaving his speechless. His eyelashes fluttering softly. His rosy cheeks and peachy lips setting beautifully on his pearly skin. His entire being was ethereal, and honestly, Hajime was absolutely in love with the man stood in front of him. The air was lightly wisping around the two as they effortlessly (not so effortlessly--Tooru had awkwardly stepped on Hajimes toes a few times, their laughter in play.) moved around the living room.   
As the vibrations of the song slowly faded, Iwaizumi swiped up his husband, smiling as laughter and playful squeals filled the room. He brought the two to their bedroom, plopping him onto the bed. The shorter crawled onto the bed, kissing Oikawa sweetly before plopping down next to him. He pulled him into his chest, whispering little “i love you’s” in his ear. Tooru began to drift in and out of sleep before inevitably giving into his heavy lids. With the comfort of his husband sleeping on him, the raven followed suit. 

[but then one day   
Everything changed]   
-11.7 months prior-  
Pink, purples, blues, oranges all shone, bright fun colors lighting up the dark room. Glitter and feathers lingered in different corners, the remnants of wines and juices pooling at the bottom of fancy glasses. Silly accessories were placed upon both Tooru and Hajime. Music was booming through the house, and the two stood eagerly on the patio.   
10  
9  
8  
7  
6  
5  
4  
3  
2  
1  
The two desperately, impatiently pulling the other into a sloppy, passionate kiss, a chorus of “happy new years” shouted in the background. Fireworks lit up the sides of their faces, wind breezing around the two. They didn’t care. Having their other embraced in their arms was all that mattered at that point in time.   
Tooru pulled away first, looking down at his husband slightly, a wide faced smile never leaving his features.   
“God, I don’t know what I would do without you. Sometimes I try to imagine life without you and it just- I can’t even comprehend it.”  
The shorter spoke, looking his husband in the face. Oikawa cooed, pecking him on the lips once more.   
“Aww, Iwa! Good thing you don’t have to worry about that! I’d never leave you! You’re stuck with me forever.”   
The brunette exclaimed, pulling Hajime inside the house. “It’s cold out there. Wanna go watch a movie?”   
Iwa jokingly groaned, flopping down on the couch. “As long as it’s not mean girls- or something like that.” he said, causing Tooru to turn out and stick his tongue out.   
“Just ‘cause you said that, we’re gonna watch mean girls!” he grinned pushing the movie into the dvd and cuddling into the ravens side.   
And that’s how the Iwaizumis spent their New Years.

You’re here where you should be  
Snow is falling as the carolers sing  
It just wasn’t the same  
Alone on christmas day  
Presents, what a beautiful sight  
Don’t mean a thing if you ain't holding me tight  
You’re all that I need  
Underneath the tree

[I found what I was looking for  
A love that’s meant for me  
A heart that’s mine completely]  
-five months prior-  
The air was crisp, warm, flowers sprouting and blooming left and right. The sun scolded ruthlessly down on the Earth. But that didn’t matter. Hajime’s world had come crashing down on him without any warning.   
Tooru was incredibly sick. With what? The doctors weren’t sure.   
It began when he began to show signs of fatigue. They figured it was just a common flu or maybe even allergies that was taking a course on his body. Iwaizumi had suggested they go to the doctor to check it out; just to make sure. Unfortunately, Tooru was stubborn and insisted he would be fine in a few days or so.   
That was till he began to pass out. That’s when Hajime had to practically force the brunette into the car and take him to the hospital. And so here they were.   
They didn’t know what it was, couldn’t find where the sickness stemmed or anything. Hajime and Tooru were completely left in the void. Except for one thing-- They did know that the ladders life expectancy was a few months to a year if his body continued on at this rate and didn’t heal itself.   
Hajime was left speechless. Tooru tried to make jokes out of the situation; he never had known how to take things very seriously and he couldn’t handle the unfocused, confused, hurt expression on the ravens face.   
There wasn’t much they could do. So they went home, eerie silence filling the car. Hajime thought of pitying himself, allowing himself to be selfish, but decided that he needed to stick through and support him throughout this. He felt as though that was the best he could do. 

[this year I will fall  
With no worries at all]  
-four months prior-  
Tooru wasn’t look any better. It had only been a month, yet his body only got worse and worse as the days went by. Hajime tried to keep as much hope as he could. He tried his best to stay positive for his husband. It was getting into the times though where Hajime was beginning to subconsciously appreciate and memorize every single time he was with Tooru.   
He was trying so hard to stay strong for the brunette. He would still joke around with him, make him food, support with every single outburst and frustration he had. He just didn’t want him to feel alone.   
Every night, he would have to lock himself in the bathroom, where he would cry to himself, fear making its way through his body till he would end up shaking. But, inevitably, he would get up and put on his brave face.   
He could tell the changes the disease was having over the tallers body. He was getting pale--paler than he’s ever been. His body was beginning to look frail and the color was often gone from his face. His eyes always seemed distracted, lost, or zoned out.   
Iwa would tell him stories every day. The two would joke around and play board games. So, he still had hope. 

-three months prior-  
It was very clear what was happening. The doctors had informed Hajime that Tooru had maybe a week left. It was all happening too fast. He was supposed to have at least a year to spend with him. A year to allow his body to heal. Why was it happening so fast?   
They didn’t tell Tooru. They didn’t want him to have to deal with that. They figured extra stress would make him go faster.   
At home, Hajime never let Oikawa out of his sight. It grew to a point where the brunette had trouble forming sentences, so he would rarely ever try to talk. Iwaizumi would fill that spot. He would tell him all the stories he found on the internet, and he would occasionally pop in a joke that rewarded in a small laugh emitting from the other, and a small smile would appear on his face.  
It was those little laughs and smiles that Hajime looked forward to every single day. It made him feel amazing that even in times like this, he could still make his husband happy. That’s ultimately all he could ask for.   
One day the team came over to visit. It made Tooru incredibly happy and he had a lot of fun. They all joked around, hardly acted like the brunette was sick. They acted just like they did in highschool, joking around and all in all having fun. Of course, Oikawa didn’t really speak much, which was definitely a change for the team, yet no one treated him different. The taller had fallen asleep, and Mattsun looked over at Hajime.   
He jerked his head toward the kitchen, having him follow him in.   
“How are you holding up?”  
That was all it took. Those five words made the raven burst. His lip began to tremble, and he looked down at the floor in embarrassment. Tears flooded out of his eyes, and eventually, sobs racked his body. Mattsun pulled him into a hug, Hajime finally allowing himself to let out everything he’s been needing to for the past two months.  
Mattsun didn’t bother saying anything, in which the shorter was incredibly grateful for.  
“I don’t know what i’m gonna do without him. I don’t understand how this happened. He doesn’t deserve this, he never deserved this.”   
Hajime sobbed. He was so scared. He had less than a week with the love of his life. He wasn’t prepared. He doesn’t think he ever could’ve been prepared for this.   
Eventually he calmed down, splashing cold water on his face to get rid of any tear streaks and to reduce the redness. He took a few deep, shaky breaths to compose himself before walking back out to the living room. Everyone was getting ready to leave and Tooru was awake on the couch.   
Hajime paled. He knew that he ten out of ten heard what happened in the kitchen. Everyone said their goodbyes, leaving the two husbands alone. There was still a sparkle in Oikawa’s eyes. The certain sparkle that let Iwa know it was still his toru. That, even through all of this, he was still the same toru that he fell in love with all those years ago.  
“Hajime,” Tooru said sternly. “Come here, please.”   
His words slurred together but the raven got the memo. He went over to the couch, sitting next to the brunette. Then, he felt arms wrap around him, squeezing as tightly as they could. He felt the cold tears falling on his shoulder.   
“You're going to be fine. I promise you, you’re going to get through this. Listen to me, baby.”   
It was hajimes first time hearing Oikawa say full sentences in quite a while, of course with difficulties, but regardless, it caused him to choke up once again.   
“I want you to move on. I don’t want you to hang on to me when i’m gone.”   
Hajimes eyebrows creased and he frowned.   
“I can’t just do that, Tooru. I can’t just forget about you. I can’t just let you go-” he choked up once again, squeezing his husband.   
“But you can. I don’t expect you to right away, but it’ll be best for you..” the brunette trailed off, tears silently streaming down his face.   
Hajime was too afraid of opening his mouth, scared he would tell Oikawa everything. Instead, he settled in kissing his lips, passionately, sweetly. This one was different from their other kisses. It wasn’t just desperate, but there was something deeper. Something almost peaceful with zero lust behind it. Just pure love.   
“I love you, Tooru”   
“I love you.”  
And so, they stayed there, wrapped in each other's arms for god knows how long. Just enjoying the warmth and comfort the other was bringing. When they fell asleep? Hajime couldn’t recall.

-the next morning-  
It was cold. Raven’s were cawing in the distance outside of the house. Iwaizumi woke up and immediately sensed something was wrong. He sat up and attempted to rub his eyes. A weight on his arm stopped him. A limp, cold weight. He immediately froze, refusing to look next to him. He already knew, but he wasn’t ready.   
Hesitantly, he got a hold of his arm and began to shake the boy.   
“Oi, Toru.. toru, baby, wake up.”   
His eyes were wide as saucers and his breathing picked up. Panic was beginning to set in.   
“Toru! This isn’t funny. Wake up. Please, wake up.”   
His chorus of pleads fell on deaf ears. It felt as if a hot, burning iron was being shoved down his throat. He couldn’t even look at him. He was shaking. He didn’t know what to do.   
At some point, he picked up the phone and called 911, holding onto Oikawa’s cold hand in hopes that he would somehow wake up and tell him he was just joking.   
That didn’t happen, though. The ambulance took him to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead.   
Hajime couldn’t cry. He felt empty. When he was back at home, all he could do was lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. 

[You’re here, where you should be  
Snow is falling as the carolers sing  
It just wasn’t the same…]

-two months prior-  
The air felt hostile, unwanting. Everyone was dressed in suits or dresses. Hajime almost bailed ten different times. It was an open casket. As the raven stood over his husband, his beautiful, beautiful husband, he couldn’t help but think that the chilly wind should’ve tinted his cheeks a rosy red. That they should’ve been trapped inside the house because Tooru insisted on staying inside rather than going outside.   
That they should’ve been trying on matching halloween and christmas sweaters because god, tooru could never get over them.   
But no. He was standing over the pale skin of his husband. His best friend. His universe. He took hold of his hand, kissing the cold, rubbery skin. It felt so fake. This couldn’t be his tooru. Iwaizumi took the white flower from his suit and placed it in the soft, groomed hair. He stood there, just staring at the boy before walking down the steps and sitting back down.   
The funeral was long, as everyone said their final goodbyes.   
And so, Hajime went back home. 

[And then, one day, everything changed  
You’re all I need underneath the tree.   
You’re here where you should be  
Snow is falling as the carolers sing  
It just wasn’t the same, alone on christmas day  
Presents, what a beautiful sight  
Don’t mean a thing if you ain’t holding me tight  
You're all that i need, underneath the tree.]  
-present time-

Cold air breezed about, the sound of muffled music playing in the background. The stilled, unmoving air reflected on the past few months.  
12:00 pm  
It was officially Christmas in the Iwaizumi household. Instead of two, there was only one. The cold hot chocolate sat untouched on the coffee table.   
The slow, low, rhythmic hum of the music drifted up to his ears. His heart immediately began to sting in memory. He got up to go turn it off, but weirdly, he felt a tug telling him not to. He paused, looking behind him.   
Maybe he’s genuinely gone crazy but it seemed as though toru was standing there. “Toru?” he whispered, scared that if he spoke too loud he would leave him again. The brunette offered his hand, in which the raven accepted.   
Their hands interlaced and Toru placed his hand on his shoulder, Hajime placing his own on his waist. They began dancing gracefully to the music. He was captured by Oikawa's ethereal beauty.   
The music faded out and he waited expectantly.   
“I love you, Hajime.”   
Was what had been whispered out, and the cool feeling of lips on his own warm ones.   
“I love you, tooru.”   
And with that, tooru smiled his bright, infamous smile before all in all fading away.  
It was then Hajime realized that Toru never left his side. That he’s always been here with him.   
That when he made that promise that he would stick with him forever, he meant it.


End file.
